and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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