you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
