Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Its about making memories worth repressing
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
