i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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