Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
