"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
