They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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