Buhtt sex?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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