and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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