I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
