sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
