Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
