The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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