Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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