So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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