It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize