But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
