we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ladies don't puke and tell
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
