The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
