I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize