I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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