PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
