i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We left the knife in your bed.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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