I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
