she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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