yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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