Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize