What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
