you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
