remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
