he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
