A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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