we made out on top of his cat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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