I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize