good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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