Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
