So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
