i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
