Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
