at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
