I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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