First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
