he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
