Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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