I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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