Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize