so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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