I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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