I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
