So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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