whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
