Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we have officially lost it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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