ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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