I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
