Porn is love you can see.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
