i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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