fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
