Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
