did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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