Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
