bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
not ubering you a puppy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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