the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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