I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
